This is part two of the interview with Ms. Karz. Interview with Zippora Karz is the first instalment of the interview.
Zippora Speaks About Diabetes
Lindsey Mason: In your book, you speak of dealing with the symptoms of diabetes. Which was the hardest one for you?
Zippora Karz: If I can answer that in two parts.
The hardest symptom directly related to my diabetes, were the sores under my arms that got infected and wouldn't heal. They were actually the reason I went to the doctor in the first place when I was diagnosed. With all the ballets I was dancing every night I often wore costumes made for other dancers and many of them had bodices that were too long and scraped under my arms. The scraping turned to sores and the sores got infected and would not heal. They looked dreadful and were extremely painful when I tried to lift my arms over my head, which I had to do a lot as a ballerina; they ripped and burned. But what was harder than the pain was the psychological toll it took on me. I had a leading role in a new ballet choreographed by my director, Peter Martins (co director with Jerome Robbins after the death of George Balanchine), and I felt a tremendous pressure to dance well, which was hard to do with those sores.
But by far, chronic insomnia was the hardest thing I had to deal with. I don't know if my insomnia was directly due to my diabetes, but I do believe it was a side effect of some of my struggles: muscle pain, anxiety, exhaustion, and the fear of over doing my insulin shot at night. Those periods of extreme sleep deprivation were physically and psychologically horrible. Thankfully I do not experience severe insomnia anymore but I have a very different lifestyle as an author, teacher and motivator. And I also work at healthy sleep habits.
Lindsey Mason: What are your thoughts on the newest advances in the care of diabetes?
Zippora Karz: I feel extremely blessed to live in a time where advances in diabetes care allow those of us with the disease to live full and passionate lives. The meters are quicker and the insulin work more efficiently, more consistently and are easier to deliver. I think they'll continue to develop ways for us to balance our blood sugar levels that mimic the miracle that is the human body. The hard part for many people, and what I am interested in, is how to motivate people to optimally use what is available to us. It’s not easy to always have to monitor yourself, think about everything you eat and your activity level. The psychology of a chronic disease is very difficult for many people with advances.
Lindsey Mason: What advice do you have for those who've recently been diagnosed with diabetes or other life-changing conditions?
Zippora Karz: First of all, you must know that it's possible to live a full, passionate life, and still maintain a level of health with a life-changing condition. Sometimes it can be hard to find the right protocol, one that fits you personally, so find that. Educate yourself as much as possible about your condition and discover what is the best course of action for your particular needs. That alone took me years to figure out. I approach things medically as well as holistically, (healthy eating, movement and emotional health). Become an investigator, seek out information and ask questions, research and talk to other people who have a similar diagnosis. Try things out and if they are not working, try something else.
Find a good doctor you trust and feel comfortable communicating with. It took me years to find the right regime and the right team of doctors I felt I could communicate with. Try to come out of denial as quickly as possible. My denial, which went on for years in varying degrees, sabotaged my efforts to take care of myself. I'm a big supporter of people addressing their emotions and learning how to nurture that aspect of their lives. There are the emotions related to the diagnosis and then there are specific psychological barriers we bring with us from our past. I had trouble communicating with authority figures based on some unfortunate experiences in my childhood. On top of my emotions about my diabetes it spelled disaster when it came to talking to my doctor about the problems I was having, as well as making good decisions in the moment of how best to take care of my diabetes.
So try to be as present as you can with your situation, and if you need someone else to ask questions, help you research, or even keep you active and eating healthy, ask for that.
I really believe we can live full lives with our disease. If you're having trouble feeling motivated, know that you matter, that you are worth taking care of. Try to reflect on what has meaning for you in your life whether it's a personal passion or a connection with a person or even an animal.
Lindsey Mason: You mention in your book that as a child, there was often a "good Zippora" and a " bad Zippora". Do you think that blood sugar issues may have caused this?
Zippora Karz: I would think so, but my doctor might have a different answer. Especially since I have insulin dependant diabetes, she might say it would have shown up earlier had my blood sugar levels already been fluctuating. What I can say is that since I was seen as the "pain" at times in the family I already had a psychology of self blame that went like this, "why can’t I control myself like everyone else?" When I was diagnosed with diabetes my inner dialogue was pretty close, "why can’t I be normal like everyone else."
For more information on Ms. Karz, check out Dancer Reveals Her Battle with Diabetes and Getting to Know Zippora Karz.
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