Dancer Reveals Her Battle With Diabetes
Zippora Karz Speaks About Struggling With Disease
Nov 2, 2009
This is the third installment of the interview with Ms. Karz.
Zippora Speaks About Her Struggle With Diabetes
Lindsey Mason: Do you have any advice on how to temper passion with being conscious of your health?
Zippora Karz: My passion for dance is what gave me the drive and ambition to be healthy. Growing up in California I always had an interest in health, and when I was diagnosed with diabetes, when I feared I might lose my dancing, I became more committed than ever to discover the best ways to help my body heal, if I could. I didn’t always stay on course and sometimes my anger at my body for ruining my life fueled a self-destructive tendency when it came to food and blood sugar management. I would eventually learn how important it was to work with my body, to have compassion for it, rather than rage at it. And while my passion had been to fulfill my potential as a ballerina, as my life took a different path, (as my health odyssey took me on a detour while still performing) I found I was just as passionate about fulfilling my potential off the stage, within myself. Today I find health, physical, emotional and spiritual, is my passion!
Lindsey Mason: Do you feel as if most people only see your struggle instead of who you are?
Zippora Karz: I hid much of what I was going through from most everyone around me. I was in one of the greatest ballet companies in the world, surrounded by some of the most capable and athletic bodies. I couldn’t help comparing myself to them as well as to what I used to be and could have been. If I couldn’t hang in the game I should get out, is how I felt. I never wanted my piers or Peter Martins to know the intricacies of my daily struggles; I never wanted to be seen as a specialty case. With that said, I always had someone I could talk to whether it be my intimate relationship, a close friend, or my younger sister. And I always knew my mother was there if I needed her.
Lindsey Mason: Many people who are newly diagnosed with an illness feel they have to give up everything that makes them who they are, and that the illness will somehow now define them. How did you overcome these feelings? Do you know what the specific turning point was for you?
Zippora Karz: It’s very difficult not to become over identified by your illness. When I was performing and newly struggling with diabetes, it defined my every move and outcome. I had to dance well to be given leading roles, and for that to happen I had to have my diabetes under control so my body could perform at its best. I was obsessed with my diabetes and how it was influencing my career. Today, as a teacher, coach, author, and motivator it is not about feeling every part of my body perfectly anymore, it is about giving back. I need stable blood sugar levels, of course, but if they are the tiniest bit off it’s just not that big of a deal as it used to be. I’m not angry with my body anymore, or feel like it has failed me. Diabetes is something I need to take care of, it is not who I am. Even if I did not have diabetes I would eat and exercise and reflect on my psychology exactly as I do. I would say when I left the stage I stopped seeing myself as someone at the effect of my disease.
Please see Interview with Zippora Karz and Learning to Deal with Diabetes for the first and second installments of the interview.
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